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It’s Saturday morning, pancakes with peanut butter, runny honey and sliced almonds for breakfast. I am going to work today, too much to do, too little time. Haven’t been sleeping well either, brain is coding, and you can’t sleep when that shit is going on in your head.

But it’s not what I wanted to write about.

I am not entirely sure how to put it so it makes sense really. You know when you are trying to deal with something, you look for your own ways to do so. People tell you do this, do that, suggest other ideas. I deal with my own shit with music. It’s what really moves me, especially when I am alone in my apartment. I listen to all sorts of genres, I stay away from heavy metals and similar things. I seems to lean more toward sounds of chillout with a really good beat, up beat tunes that do I can’t stop but tap my foot (or feet) on the floor, or my fingers on my leg, etc.

I find my music through youtube (mostly nowadays). I hear a tune I like, get to a channel  and listen through it and pick the “best” ones out, or just pick the “suggested” tune after I am done listening to the current one.
What I am really getting at is I seem to come across songs that I really REALLY like the sound of, but… the words are just too strong a meaning that don’t help me deal with what I am trying to get rid of right about now. Amazing beat, great tempo, fantastic vocal, unique samples, but the words are slicing through me. The problem is that I associate myself with the song, especially if the words are exactly how I feel…. but then how do you “just listen” to the song… (future post on how to not be a human when you are one maybe?) I won’t share any of the titles, because I find my music very personal. Here’s another secret about me.

Maybe I just like tunes that wring the soul (quite often) to the extent of disarming me or maybe it’s a way for me to make sure I am still human.

So to the deep beats and vocal crashing my heart… time to finish breakfast… might turn the volume down a bit though…