Easter, so long ago

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We’ve had our plans set long before Easter holidays and were going to to camping near Kai Iwi lakes. Weather wasn’t the greatest however on the Easter Sunday was pretty fantastic, suffice to say we spent the day at the lakes.

I’ve not posted in a while as life just goes, days fly. Why am I posting today anyway? I think I feel guilty, scared maybe, near my limits? Not sure.

I keep doing my side activity I started a year ago, and I have been getting braver, more confident or just plain stupid? Not sure, what I am sure of though is it’s not sustainable, not the way I am still allowing myself to execute this.

I am now at a stage that I was pretty surprised with what I achieved, but that was literally destroyed by my own stupidity and lack of control, ending up smashing my mobile phone and losing a few thousand dollars, when my balances were way above what I’ve ever managed to get to.

My side activity is killing me I think, and if I cannot take control and fix a few major issues the only thing I can and should do is to shut it all down. I just don’t believe I have to, I still believe I can do it successfully, longterm.

Right now though it scared me what happened in a matter of hours, and my apprehension in getting back into it is putting me on an edge I don’t want to be. It’s a losing position right from the start, mindset of a loser.

On the other hand, the most exciting thing so far is we’ve almost all booked for our trip in October, part if which will be Iceland. Can’t wait!

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